Tango in the Rain(Poem)

Tango in the Rain…

Girl, do you remember that night?
We had gone to the mountains for a date –
I made a table out of a rock
And set food on banana-leaf plates.
You looked so lovely in that white dress,
That the moon itself turned a jealous shade of green
It suddenly started pouring so hard –
And we did a small tango in the rain.
The cream and the caviar was spoilt
But still they tasted sweet enough.
And then I went down and sang you a song.
You couldn’t help smiling all along.
The winter chill was running down my spine
But the heat of your body kept me warm.
I could feel your breath come out in steam
And our hearts beat in unison.
But when I stooped to kiss you on your lips-
You stopped me with a nod of your head.
I felt a crack in your voice as you said
Your heart belonged to someone else instead!
No night was ever darker than that one.
The raindrops hid the tears that I cried.
I still managed to crack a joke or two
But I remember how much I bled inside.

Now that I see you after so long -
So many many things have now changed.
Tell me how life has been to you?
You look the same but you seem so estranged.
The glow of your face is gone,
And the light of your eyes have dimmed,
Your smile hides an awful lot of pain,
Have you lost all that you ever dreamed?
Life hasn’t been so easy for me too -
I have grown up so much so since then;
I don’t give away my heart so fast
I don’t give away my heart at all, even.
But now that I look onto your face –
I want to fall in love once again -
I want to have you close to me once more,
I don’t want this moment to ever end.
No December downpour tonight,
But our hearts showers down in pain.
Would you come and have a dance with me?
We can do a tango in the rain..!

The Unfiathful : Script

The Unfaithful





INT PREM’S HOUSE NIGHT

CLOSE UP on the face of a man. He has a very sincere face. Has glasses. About 30. Though quite good-looking he has a geeky quality to his face. Slowly camera pulls out to show his full form. He is naked from waist up revealing a rather naturally well-built torso. Sitting at a table taking some notes from a thick book. The book contains figures suggesting it to be of astrophysics, quantum mechanics or some sort of advanced science. A shoveled up bed is seen in the background. A girl is in the bed but only her naked legs are visible initially. Slowly the camera moves past the man’s shoulders and slowly closes in on the girl. She is about 19,out and out sexy, in a red lingerie. He hair is dyed blond. Her face is beautiful , has a red lipstick on. There’s a half-disappointed look on her face.

GIRL
Are we to spend the night like this . . .(with sarcasm) Mr. Chaterjee.

MR. CHATERJEE
No.

Shuts the book. Puts down his pen. Looks at the girl.

MR. CHATERJEE (contd.)
And you can call me Prem.

Gets up.

PREM
Your dad’s a rich man aint he? Alisa. Is that your real name.

ALISA
Yeah ! For the first one. And for the second that’s none of your business.

PREM
Sits down on the bed.
Right. But why do you do this stuff. You get enough pocket money I suppose.

ALISA
I lost all on a bet earlier this month. And next week, its my best friend’s birthday.

Prem crawls up beside Alisa. Undecidedly they touch each other a little.They try to kiss a little but it just does not work out. Suddenly Prem’s eyes falls on a photoframe on the bed-stand. The camera closes in on the photograph. Prem gazes at it with nostalgia. Alisa looks at it. The Camera close in onto the camera. A boy - clearly Prem himself but younger about 20- and a girl is sitting on a horizontal branch of a tree in a green lawn. A big building apparently of a college/school is seen in the back ground.

ALISA (o.s.)
Who’s that? Your wife .

PREM (o.s.)
Yes.( A short pause)… (With a lot of emotion) Riya.

The Camera closes more and more on the photograph until the scene changes to that in the photograph.


EXT. PREM AND RIYA’S COLLEGE CAMPUS DAY

The boy and the girl in the picture sitting on the branch of the tree. The boy has the same sincere yet nerdy face with the same glasses. He’s Prem only younger. About twenty. He’s in jeans and a shirt. The girl beside him is in a boys’ jeans and tee-shirt. She has very short and curly hair and a very naughty and restless face. If not for her sexy feminine features she could have been mistaken for a boy. She puts her arms round Prem and kisses on his cheek.

RIYA
Happy friendship day Puppy.

Hands him an audio cassette. It is the track of Friends.

PREM
Wow.Happy friendship day.

Kisses Riya. Hands her a card. And takes out a friendship band from his pocket and ties it on her hand. Riya is delighted . She gives a sweet smile and they kiss on the lips. (Not a mouth-to-mouth French kiss- a friendly kiss.)
A voice is heard.

VOICE(o.s.)
Hey lovebirds look here.

RIYA(smiling)
We are not lovebirds. We are twins. Like Peas-an’-Carrots (imitating Tom Hank’s style in Forrest Gump).

They look into the camera. SNAP. A photograph is taken. The pose is same as that in the photograph in the first sceene.


INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM. DAY GRADUATION DAY CEREMONIES

Many students have gathered . All in black graduation day suits. We can see both Prem and Riya but they are in different groups. An announcer is calling out the names of the graduates in the different streams. Students are going up on the stage for their certificates.

ANNOUNCER
And now for the three toppers. In the field of commerce Mr Anandaroop Bagchi. 1st Class 1st . Congratulations Anadaroop.

A boy walks up on stage to receive the certuficate.

ANNOUNCER
For humanities Riya Dasgupta. 1st class 1st with record marks in Political Sciences. Bravo Riya.

Riya walks up on the stage and receives her certuficate.

ANNOUNCER
And for Science. Prem Chatterjee. 1st class 1st with record marks in Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics and Astrophysics. Cogratulations.

Prem receives his certuficate. As he climbs down the stage he is pulled into an ecstatic hug by Riya. Smiling he takes her in his arms and kisses her deeply on the mouth. She returns the kiss and it goes on and on amidst a chorus of boos ,whistles and claps.


INT. MARRIAGE REGISTRATION OFFICE DAY

Prem and Riya –both looking a little older- sign on the marriage registrar. Prem is clad in a white designer Punjabi and Dhoti, Riya in a Benarasi Saree. Both look good but rather odd and uncomfortable. Especially Riya. She isn’t able to manage herself. The Pallu keeps falling from her head. Four other people are standing in the back. An older man in a suit. With a little grey hairs and a moustache. His face and mannerisms indicates his rather high social status and also his mediocrity. Beside him a simple looking woman in a coloured saree. The couples closeness indicates they are man and wife. On their right is a boy about 18 or 19. He is holding a pair of garlands. To the left of the couple a little removed from them stands another woman in a white saree indicating she is a widow. She has a conservative and strong-willed look on her face. She doesn’t seem very happy with the whole thing. One by one the older man and the two women sign on the registrar.

THE REGISRATION OFFICER
Now you are man and wife. If you’d like to proceed with other rituals.

The woman in the coloured saree hands Prem a small container of Sindur which he puts on Riya’s forehead. Then they exchange garlands. After that Riya hugs the older gentleman and the woman in coloured saree. They hug her tightly as if bidding goodbye. Both of them have tears in their eyes. Then Riya hugs the young boy. He breaks down saying ‘Didi’.( This indicates the couple is Riya’s mom and the boy her brother.)

WOMAN IN COLOURED SAREE(RIYA’S MOM)
Now take your mom-in-law’s blessing.

Riya and Prem bow down to the other woman, who is Prem’s mom. Her coldness suddenly changes to that of love and gentleness. She picks Riya up , kisses her bow and hugs her. Then suddenly she notices Riya’s short hair. The coldness comes back to her and she becomes more rigid.

INT PREM’S HOUSE DAY

Prem’s mom is packing Prem’s clothes in a suit case. Prem is standing near the bed. She has a very angry look on her face.
PREM’S MOM
I don’t understand. You married just yesterday. And today you are going away. To U.S. And she’s flying to Delhi. Is this a marriage.

PREM
Give it a break Ma. We’ve discussed this earlier. Two years is nothing. I have been called to address a seminar on astrophysics. She has been summoned on her first major job. We have our careers. I wanna teach, research. She’s a journalist, loves adventure. If we want to get married we have to do in this way. We can’t expect to spend all our time together. The sooner we get used to it the better.

PREM’S MOM
Why did you marry her in the first place. I could have got you a decent wife who’d would have cooked for you, and looked after you and gone with you anywhere.

Suddenly Riya pops in. She’s in her usual jeans and jacket.

RIYA
We’re getting late.

She departs.

PREM’S MOM
Is that a way for a bou to dress. Why DID you marry that girl. She doesn’t even look like one.

PREM (hurt and angry)
Ma!


INT AIRPORT WAITING ROOM AFTERNOON

A no of people is sitting. Chiefly a Sikh family consisting of Granpas and Grannys and Mummys and Daddies and Uncles and Aunts and kids. The only people other than them are Prem nd Riya who are sitting uncomfortably in one corner trying to get as much closeness possible under the close inspection of a hugely curius Sikh family.
Suddenly an announcement is made regarding departure of a plane . The Sikh family gets up and departs. Prem and Riya look relieved. They look at each other mischief in their eyes.
The camera wanders about the room. Heaving and panting noises are heard. Clothes are strewn all over the floor and on the sofa. The camera finally comes to rest behind the sofa where Prem and Riya are having sex. They are naked except for the different baggage which are comfortably placed in front of them to get Censor approvals.
Suddenly the door flungs open and in come three of the Sikh family. A Granny , a Mom and a kid. The women shriek to find Prem and Riya in that condition. Prem and Riya shriek too. The Sikhs flee from the room , the Mom tugging at the kid who seems unwilling to leave.

KID
O ki karraha hai Mummy?(What are they doing MOM?)


EXT CROWD SCEENE DAY

Some kind of a riot is going on. Crowds are shouting and lighting bonfires and throwing stones. Police is charging with laathis. A press crew has assembled. We find Riya, age 25-26 in the press group. She has a microphone in her hand and a badge on her chest. She is on air.

RIYA(in the microphone to the camera)
..Reporting for NatT.V. Riya Dasgupta. Kolkata.

CAMERAMAN (o.s.)
Shot O. K.

Suddenly Riya’s mobile rings. She picks it up.

RIYA
Hello.

Cut to Scene of Prem in his house. He is sweaty and dirty indicating a journey. Split screen is used to show Prem and Riya talking over the phone.

PREM
Hi Sweetheart. I’m home.

RIYA (eyes moistening)
You’ve come! I couldn’t be at the airport. I am so tied up here.

PREM
I don’t mind. But where are you. I heard some riots are going on in the city. You are not in one, are you ?

RIYA
No Jaan! I am coming home as soon as possible have to go now.

She puts down the mobile. Notices the intensity of the unrest has increased. She looks on both sides unsure what to do. Suddenly a stone hits her on the forehead. Blood rushes down her brow. She holds her head in pain.

INT PREM’S HOUSE NIGHT

Prem sits restlessly on the couch. Glances at the wall clock. It strikes ten.

MOM (disgusted)
She can’t even come home early one day ! You returned home after over a year and she just does not care.

The door bell rings. Riya enters, her head bandaged. She rushes over to Prem and hugs him tight. Tears flow down her eyes. Prem, shocked to see her like that, touches her brow where it is hurt. He too is crying.

PREM
I knew you were in trouble. I knew that.

Prem’s mom look away. Unmoved.

INT PREM’S COLLEGE CLASSROOM DAY

Prem is addressing a group of students. There are weird diagrams on the board. He is giving a lecture.

INT DIFFERENT CLASSROOM DAY
A group of senior students is ragging a bunch of first-years. We find Riya’s brother in the group of seniors.

INT PREM’S CLASSROOM DAY
The class is over. Prem leaves the room.

INT RIYA’S BROTHERS CLASSROOM DAY

RIYA’S BROTHER
Take of your clothes.

INT COLLEGE CORRIDOOR
Prem is walking down the corridor towards the classroom where the juniors are being ragged.

INT RIYA’S BROTHER’S CLASSROOM.
The junior students are standing in their underwear. They are scared and shamed.

RIYA’S BROTHER (smiling nastily)
Those too.

The students almost cry. They prepare to remove their underwear. But suddenly the door flungs open and Prem comes in. He is completely shocked. He looks at Riya’s brother, who looks petrified.

INT PREM’S OFFICE DAY
Riya’s dad Mr. Dasgupta is sitting in a chair facing Prem. He has a tensed look on his face.

MR. DASGUPTA
He’s still a boy. His whole career depends on you. If you take off the charges the College will keep him. If he is rusticated from here where will he go?

PREM
Do you know what Raju did? He made some junior students strip. If I wouldn’t have accidentally gone there he would have stripped them naked.

MR. DASGUPTA
He’s your brother-in-law.

PREM ( a cold look comes across his face)
He’s a criminal.


INT PREM’S BATHROOM PRESENT DAY DAY

The shower runs down. It falls on Prem’s body. He looks tired . He closes his eyes as if to do away with the exhausion. Suddenly a voice is heard.

PREM’S MOM(o.s.)
Prem?

PREM
Ma!

He grabs the towel and hurries out of the bathroom. Its too late. Ma is standing at the door of his bedroom dumbstruck. On the bed Alisa is shown fast asleep. Prem’s mom is shocked. In tears.

INT RIYA’S HOUSE EARLY MORNING

Mr. Dasgupta sits on the couch reading newspaper. A servant hands him a tea and a few papers.

MR. DASGUPTA
Did Riya come home yesterday? (looking at the paper)What are these?

He opens the envelope and reads the paper. His expression is that of shock and anger.

MR. DASGUPTA
Son-of-a-bitch.

We now see the paper. It is a Divorce paper. Suddenly the phone rings. Mr Dasgupta picks it up. Prem’s Mom’s voice is heard from the otherside.

PREM’S MOM (crying)
Its all my fault. I am so sorry. Riya is a very good girl. I didn’t understand my Bouma while she was still with me. O God..

Mr. Dasgupta puts down the phone perplexed. He glances at his watch and walks over to Riya’s room with the papers and knocks.

RIYA(o.s.)
Come in.

Mr. Dasgupta walks into the room. We find Riya she is older than when we previously saw her. About 30. She looks more mature and tired. But her eyes are still alive.

MR. DASGUPTA
Look what the scoundrel has done now.

Hands her the papers. Riya inspects the papers carefully. Her face is expressionless. Mr. Dasgupta seems frightened. He puts his hands on Riya’s shoulder.

RIYA
Its good Prem sent the papers. Or I would have to file for a divorce myself.

Suddenly the bathroom door flings open and a handsome man clad only in towels steps out.

MAN
What’s up Riya?

RIYA (TO MR. DASGUPTA)
This is Vinay. Vinay Agarwal. We work together. It got late tonight and his house is far off. So I asked him to sleep over.

INT PREM’S HOUSE DRAWING ROOM AFTERNOON

Prem is lying on the couch watching T.V. He seems to have lost all hope in life. He has the cassette of friends in his hand. A movie is running on the T.V. “Indecent proposal”. A background voice is heard which declares Prem and Riya to be divorced.
The phone rings Prem picks it up. The screen is split to show Riya on the other side of the phone.

RIYA
Hello.

PREM
Riya! I was just thinking of you. The telepathy thing still works between us.

RIYA
Why did you do this Prem? Why?

PREM
Why do you ask me questions that you already know the answers to?

RIYA
Still. What pleases you to be hated by those you love?

PREM
Do you hate me?

RIYA
But MA..

PREM
At least she does not hate you anymore. She thinks that she had horribly misunderstood you and she is ashamed. What she doesn’t know is that she has always misunderstood everybody.

RIYA
Don’t hurt her Prem. She loves you. Tell her the truth.

PREM
Does she? Why Riya? Did I tell you anything? Did you tell me anything? But we knew didn’t we?

RIYA(voice breaking)
Being good sucks,Prem. Being good sucks.

PREM
What about Papa? Is he mad with me?

RIYA(smiles sarcastically)
No! (sigh). He thinks you are a noble person. When he saw me with Vinay he believed that you made everything up to save my reputation.

PREM (laughs)
Isn’t it strange? When we wanted to be together our parents could not stand us. And now .. when we have separated.. they think that they had misunderstood their Bouma and Jamaibabu.

RIYA (smiling through tears)
I feel sad sometimes. But I am glad you’re still with me.

The movie running on the T.V. is shown. Sceenes from the film “Indecent Proposal”.


PREM
Do you remember those lines we used to say?

RIYA
From “Indecent Proposal” ?

PREM
Hmm.

RIYA
I love you, Prem.

PREM
Still.

RIYA
Always.

They both kiss on the phone.

FADE IN.

ROLL CREDITS.

TITLE TRACK OF “FRIENDS” :

“I’ll be there for you.. Will you be there for me too.”

City of Angels

City of Angels

Nandita Dasgupta looked out of the window . A thousand faces – boys,girls and their mum and dads- flanked the sides of the runway to bid goodbye to the celebrated writer of the time’s most popular children book – Raj , the wizard boy. But Nandita could hardly see them. It was not that she did not like her fans. Infact she adored them .They were children mostly and it was they who made her rich, famous and successful. But today Nandita’s mind was far removed from those. She was lost in some other world- a world she had never written about in her books. As the plane took to the sky in a blur of faces and settled inside the thick blanket of clouds above, beside and beneath Nandita Dasgupta sank inside her ‘that’ world – a world where existed no hotshot writer of that name but only a hopeless romantic who was affectionately called Nandu, a place which by all accounts was far more beautiful and far more magical than those she created in her stories, a world she could call her own –the world of the real Raj, the Wizard Boy.
Nandita could remember her childhood days more in the arms of Surja Kaku and Rani Aunty than in those of her own parents. Both of Nandita’s parents worked and could hardly give her time.And Surja Kaku and Nandita’s dad were the best of friends. So from the day she had become aware of the world around her Nandita found herself in the loving arms of Rina Auntie beside her own son Raj who as only two months older than her. While Nandita’s mom was outside all day long , Rani took care of both the children nursled them ,caressed them and even suckled them both. Nandita always thought of Surja Kaku and Rani Auntie as her own parents and it was not before three that she would call her own mother ‘Mom’. Still she preserved the word ‘Ma’ to call Rani just as her own son Raj did.
Even before they had learned to speak Raj and Nandita were the best of friends. They were like twins who just did not look alike, were born two months apart and did not share the same set of parents. But they couldnot spend one moment without one another.
They ate together, went to sleep together and even went to loo together. And Rina Auntie had the hell of a time managing the two of them.
Nandita never liked her own parents. Akash and Neelima , inspite of having almost complementary names hardly complemented each other as husband and wife. It was a once-in-a-while incident to see them together and even in the little time they could manage for each other they hardly had time for anything else except fighting. They fought over the trivialest of things –from who should cook dinner to who should spend more time with Nandu. As for Nandu she hated when she had to be at her own house with her parents and shouted when she had to sleep with them at night.
Surjya Kaku and Rani Auntie was at completely different poles with her mom and dad. They fell in love when they were in college and were madly in love with each other since then. While they too did all their work with all attention they had enough time for their children (Oops they had really one child but they considered Nandu their child too.)
And they also managed time for each other for all those sweet nothings and innocent flirting. And Nandita felt that she and Raj were smaller versions of Surjya and Rani.She was not sure what love was or how she loved Raj but she knew that she loved him just as much as Rani Aunty loved Surjya Kaku. Raj was her brother ,friend, toy, and lover all punched into one.
Nandita and Raj could not imagine their lives without each other. So when Nandu had to move to Bombay hell broke down upon them. Raj and Nandita cried incessantly. It was impossible to stop them. And if ever they got tired of their constant howling tears flowed down unabated from their eyes. And when the actual hour of departure arrived even Surjya Kaku and Rani Auntie couldn’t hold back their tears. Those first days in Bombay were the hardest days of her life. For the first few days she did not talk to anyone . She did not eat properly. She cried over the phone when Surjyakaku Rani Auntie and Raj called from Calcutta . Even at that little age Raj tried to console her but she could feel that he was crying on the other side.
Akash and Neelima soon realized how much they had alienated themselves from their daughter through their negligence. In a bid to redeem themselves they tried to give her the maximum time they could manage. But alas it was too late. The place that Nandu had in her heart for her Surjya Kaku, Rani Auntie and especially Raj could not be taken by them.
During the first few years they went to Calcutta thrice every year and for those few days it was not possible to separate Raj and Nandu for even a moment. And Rina and Neelima often bantered that they would not face any problems to marry their children when they grew up.
But as years passed by the frequency of visting Calcutta decreased to once a year, and ultimately once in two years. Nandita talked to Raj over the phone sometimes and she longed to see him although she could always see him when she closed her eyes.
And then that day came. It was summer of 1996.The phone rang at about 8 in the morning when Nandita was about to leave for school.Her dad picked up the phone..
“Hello Akashda,” It was Raj’s Uncle. “ RaniBoudi is serious .Perhaps she’ll not make it . Will you be able to come.”
Everything was set in disarray. Nandita was stunned. She knew that Rani Auntie had cancer and her treatment was going on. But she was too young to understand what ‘cancer’ meant . And this was such a shock. What was Raj doing. He would be .. so.. alone. So … cruelly … terribly … alone.
When they reached Calcutta all was over . They rushed to Surjaya’s apartment from the airport to find Rani dead. She had died two hors ago. Surjya kaku was crying like a child. At one corner Raj was sitting quietly. He was not crying although the othes were urging him to. He had a aghast look on his face. He was watching his father.
Nandita came over to him , tears running down her cheeks. Raj looked up at her.
“How are you.” He asked. Nandita rushed down on him and hugged him to her chest. Raj put his arms round her. She looked at his face. It still wore that perplexed look.
“Have you ever seen Baba like that ?” He asked.
For two weeks they stayed at Calcutta. Then Nandu alone came to Calcuttas for a week after her half-yearly’s.And then again during Dewali. And in Winter they went to Simla. Nandita could still remember those games they had in the snow. Raj always joked over even the saddest of things. “ Wasn’t it good that Ma died . We are being able see each other more often .” He never showed his pain to anybody. But Nandita knew that sometimes he wept in the shower.
When Nandita reached eighth standard the pressure of her studies increased and for three years she couldn’t go to Calcutta. Raj came to Bombay once during this period and stayed for two weeks. But he had his studies too. And he was Surjyakaku’s only companion. So for the better part of these three very long years the telephone was their only means of communication. And at last when Nandita finally went to Calcutta after both had had their secondaries so many things had changed. The ever so pleasant and cheerful Raj had become so grim and gloomy. He seemed so distant and so much more grown-up than his age. Nandita feared she would lose him.
And then something happened . Something so unexpected and yet something so beautiful. It was a the 2nd of April .Hot summer noon. Surjyakaku was in his offices. Raj and Nandita were sitting in the veranda staring at the dusty roads. Nandita was talking incessantly – about how she had spent these days, about all her friends and how worthless they were . She complained that Raj wasn’t behaving the way he did earlier. And then she suddenly looked at Raj. He wasn’t listening to a single word she was saying. Instead he was staring at her as if lost in her face. It seemed so uneasy to see him gaze at her as he had when he had seen the snow at Simla. He raised his hand and touched her hair. A shiver ran down her spine. She looked at his eyes . They seemed so deep. So beautiful and so mysterious. She was scared. Raj touched her cheeks and then suddenly he brought his face closer to hers and kissed her lips. Not one of those kisses they had when they were kids. A real kiss. A long and passionate kiss. It was such a surprise but what could Nandu not give for such a surprise. She closed her eyes in delight. Joy and fear, excitement and amazement she felt at the same time. It went on and on like in one of those mushy sixty’s movies . Tears ran down her eyes. And Raj stopped.
“ Have I done anything wrong ?” He asked as if he had done some heanous crime the colour vanishing from his face . There were tears in his eyes. “I thought you’d like it.” Nandita smiled at him and pressed her lip onto his . The colour came back to his face. He closed his eyes in relief.
Soon they were sitting on the bed unclothing each other. As they unbuttoned each other and took off every item of clothing from each others body a chill of excitement ran through their veins. The breathing became slow and the hair on the back of their necks began to stand. Soon they were sitting completely naked facing each other and staring at each other in amazement. They had been naked before each other when they were kids but this was just so different. The were young adults now. Two young people with two very tender and attractive bodies. They felt hot and cold at the same time and their legs were shaky . Those wonderful changes that had happened to their bodies since they were children were incredible. They touched each other. And soon were lying face to face in each others arms.so very close that they could feel the warmth of each others breath .Their hearts pressed on to each other through the hardness and faltness of his chest and the softness and roundness of her breasts. As they moved closer and closer to each other the individual beatings of their hearts merged into one unified rhythm .Down below their maiden sex organs were struggling for freedom as Raj’s erection kept growing and pushing onto Nandita’s virgin delta of venus and finally sank deep inside her. Ecstasy , fear, joy, adventure, mischief –there was not one word that could describe the feelings they had then. When they lost their virginity at such a tender age of sixteen.
Those first days are always the best. When you always search for an opportunity to touch your lover, to be alone with him/her or to share a kiss. Romantic yes, erotic of course but more than that it’s a truant –like a naughty schoolboy bunking classes for the first time or a discovery – a discovery of a whole new sensation that had hitherto lied hidden from their knowledge and also the sheer excitement of doing something that was like stepping beyond a line, the moto being that Westlife song-
Rules are made to be broken,
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
But above all it was a feeling of belonging. Belonging to someone you love. Someone you can call your own. Someone to share everything with. Someone to whom there would be no hiding , no shame, no bondages to speak out your heart. And the feeling of not being alone in the universe.
That summer was wonderful but good things don’t last long.Soon it was time for another long separation. They were in standard eleven.For two long years they did not see one another.
Nandita could still remember the day she first met Manav. It was during Raj’s first year in college .Raj had taken admission in an Engineering College in Calcutta but Nandu was to go to London to gradute in creative writing.(Proving the fact that the time that her parenents had not shared with her in her childhood were not without an outcome) . She was to go next year. And before that she came to Calcutta to spend the rest of the days there. Manav was Raj’s classmate . And he was invited to Raj’s birthday along with a few others.
Nandita had never seen a guy so handsome. He was a bit of a flirt But that added to his charm. And boy, he had charisma. Raj was sweet but Manav was out and out beautiful. There was something in him that could make every girl’s heart drool in pain. He was your very own neighborhood Jude Law. Nandita was happy that she was going away for she knew she could not trust her heart when this man was around.
Yes he was a man she heard. And that he often teased Raj for being girly. Nandita got so angry when Raj told this things when he wrote to her in London the first time.
“You remember what Ma used to say.” She wrote back. “ It is not how one talks or walks that makes a man. A man is a man if he has the strength of will and character and the courage to sacrifice his own needs over those of others. Manav may be a man who can sweep a girl off her feet but you are the one who can make someone feel like she is an angel.” Raj was so grateful to her for this comment.
What is the greatest wonder in the world. Yuddhishthir would have given you the wrong answer. All those crap in the Mahabharat about life, death and cooking pots - that wasn’t true. The greatest wonder in this world is perhaps why people like each other. Raj and Manav went on to become great friends. This was very surprising because not only they were so different from each other but Manav had been a constant pain in the neck for Raj during his first year in college. When Nandu heard this not only was she surprised but a hint of jealousy crept into her heart as she realized that she was no longer Raj’s only friend. She now had to share her best friend with someone else. But there was a still greater surprise to follow.
That winter Nandu had come to Calcutta to be with her Teddy Bear ( that’s Raj without a saying). And there she was sitting with him in his balcony where he had first kissed him. She was pulling his hair, slipping her hands into his almost unbuttoned shirt
But Raj was not in himself . Something was bothering him. He seemed tortured .From inside.
“What’s wrong Raj ?” Nandu asked. Raj didn’t answer. He looked down to his feet.
Nandu became impatient. She slapped him gently on the face. “ Can’t you tell me what’s wrong . Am I not your best friend anymore.” Her voice ached a little as she spoke.
Raj placed his hand on her lips. “ Never say such a thing again. You are the greatest thing I could ever have in my life. You are an Angel who has always given me hope in the depths of despair. But ... I am … I am just so confused. Don’t want to hurt you.”
Nandita stared at him. “ Don’t know what’s wrong and what’s right ”, he continued. “ I love you Nandu and nothing else can give me more pleasure than to lie in your arms forever. But wasn’t love about giving and not just receiving, wasn’t it about selfless serving – self denial , putting happiness of someone who needs you before your own happiness. Nandu don’t get me wrong I am so grateful to you … grateful for everything you have done . There’s no way I can repay you. Nor do I want to. I want to be in your debt for that always. You’ve taught me to love.”
Nandita waited for the worse. “ I have had sex with Manav ,” he said. Nandita could not believe her ears. “ He might seem a happy-go-lucky playboy most unlikely to be a homosexual on the outside but that’s the farthest from what he is. He is one tiny little child wanting to flee from reality, more horribly insecure than I had ever been . And he needs me just as I needed you . And I want to be you Nandu .”
Nandu felt that her heart should break at that moment or tears should flow unabated from her eyes. But nothing of that sort happened. Instead she managed to force in a smile. No doubt she was sad but somewhere in her heart she loved Raj more. She kissed him on his lips. “ You can never be wrong .” Tears came down their eyes as they embraced each other to their hearts.
She had never seen this side of Manav. He was not smiling. There was a sheepish look on his face . He could not meet her eyes and for a long time he could not bring himself to talk. “ You must be an angel to give up the greatest thing in your life like that for me. And I am such a cheap scoundrel to take it from you. I am not even ashamed of what I am doing. But that’s in the genes I suppose. So good I look on the outside and so ugly I am inside. Rotten as hell. Flirt, playboy, homosexual, love-stealer – what else.” He winced in pain as he was said this.But he couldn’t cry. “ I wish I could be like you or Raj. But I can never be like that I suppose.”
Nandita kept quiet for a moment. Then she reached out and kissed him on the cheek. “If Raj loves you you can’t be half that bad. Trust him this much at least”.She could never forget the look Manav gave her that day. She knew this man will never hurt Raj…ever.
That was seven years ago. Nandita was no longer Nandu. She was one of the most popular childrens’ writer in England . Her Raj the Whizard boy was the gerates success in the past decade. It goes beyond saying that this Raj was not anyone different from her real Raj. Raj has been living with Manav. Most people do not know about their relationship. Thinks they are just friends. Surjyakaku knows of course. He did not oppose his son’s relationship with a man. He said that someone who has ever been in true love can never look with disgust at someone elses interpretation of love. Manav’s family however did not agree with his homosexuality. He has no connection with them now.
Through a crowd of thousand faces at the Calcutta Airport Nandita Dasgupta finally reached the Maruti Zen that had been awaiting her. She headed straight away for the Phoenix General Nursing Home .Raj was admitted there . He had cancer like his mother.
Nandita could not recognize Manav when she saw him. Was this the same man who had reminded her of Jude Law when she first saw him? He was thin as a rake. His face had caved in . There was an untidy mass of hair on his head and there were dark spots around his once beautiful eyes which were now sunken deep into their sockets. His face had not been shaved for weeks.
Raj was still his usual jubilant self. He seemed happy and content .He cracked a lot of jokes. And even with tears in her eyes Nandu could not help smiling. “Have you seen Manav ?” he asked. “ Doesn’t he remind you of Kumarsambahavam. The beautiful and delicate Parvati maintained penace for Lord Shiva. It took toll of her body . She became weak and ugly. Her physical beauty diminished but the beauty of her soul only sprouted its petals more wide.”
“I sometimes wonder you know,” he told her when they were alone . “ What good have I done to receive so much love and joy. Baba, Ma, You , Manav. How did I get to know all the best persons in this world. Why was I blessed with all the angels.”
Nandita couldnot hold her any longer. She broke down in tears. “ Don’t worry Nandu. I will always be there even when I am gone. The only thing that pains me is Baba. He won’t be able to take this. But I know that my worries are useless. With you and Manav to look after him even he will get over his sorrow. Manav will look after him and you will look after them both .”
Raj died in the middle of one night that summer. Nandu and Manav cried a lot. But Surjya did not cry just as Raj had not cried when his mother had died. Infact Surya did not utter one word since he came home after cremating his son. There was nothing left for him to say. But Manav and Nandu would not leave him for one moment. They wanted him to cry for crying eases the pain a lot. But there was no result. There was not a tear left in his eyes.
One night Nandu and Manav were sitting in the living room discussing about their lives. Eventually they started talking about Surjyakaku. Nandu said how Suryakaku and Rani Auntie had loved her as a child . Manav said he had never known what a father was like until he met Surjyakaku. “ But what’s happened to him now” .He broke down like a child. “ Will I never be able to bring him back” .He cried like a little girl. Nandita tried to comfort him but she could not hold back her own tears. But then she feld a gentle hand on her head. It was Surjyakau. Manav looked up wiping his tears.
“Don’t worry about me. I lost only one child. I still have two.”
Nandita was to fly to London. She was sitting in the plane at the airport. Both Surjyakaku and Manav had gone there to bid her farewell. They both looked so similar.
After Rani Auntie’s death Suryakaku had dedicated his life for Raj. Manav had done the same thing for him. Love was a cyclic process. The love she had received from Surjyakaku and Rani Auntie , Nandita had given it to Raj and Raj had given that love to Manav. And here was Manav returning that love to Surjyakaku. She ought to have been sad. But Nandu could not help smiling. It was the same smile that Raj had on his face when he died. A smile filled with joy and hope , a smile filled with gratitude towards the Creator for creating so much beauty in this world. Nandita Dasgupta wore such a smile as she bade farewell to the City of Angels.